SORRY I SPAT ON YOU...

Did you know you could get arrested by kanjo for spitting on the street? Ok, so maybe I didn't actually spit on you, but rather I put spit on you. And perhaps I won't do it again, but mama certainly will. And she will do it with love. It was disgusting in the 80s and it's still disgusting in 2017:





Spit Cleaner
Does it really clean? There has to be some unwritten code somewhere in mom-world, that spit has special powers which make matongos instantly disappear. You know matongo, the dried up stuff in the corner of your eyes when you get up in the morning. I don't know which mum hasn't used this 'hack'. I remember my mom's LadyGay-spit mix. I can smell it right now. I wish I could say that I've never engaged in such disgustingness...but sadly I have, especially with the little one. I still do it today to my grown tweens, only this time I use their own spit. They still think it's disgusting, but I do it with love.

Spit Treatment
I never thought I would ever say this...it's ok to spit on your carpet or bathroom floor, that is, if you want to lift a fresh blood stain. The enzymes in saliva that digest food can also break down the protein in fresh blood. You can also use this treatment for fresh blood stains on delicate fabrics like silk. You certainly shouldn't run hot water on a fresh blood stain or it will set. So no hot spit!

Spit Shine
Polishing and shining shoes is an art. These days we just dab some Kiwi and brush away until we see something like a shine and that's that. In the military, that's not enough. You would have to shine your boot until it gave a reflection, like a mirror. That's a spit shine. I know this sounds ridiculous, but back in the day, shoe shiners actually used real spit and not warm water. The shoe shiner spat and spat and spat on the shoe as he applied the wax polish, then buffered with a cloth into a gleaming shine. Perhaps my bro the Lieutenant Colonel can attest to this, ama it's TOP SECRET?

I don't know what got into me today? Of all things to blog about. Perhaps it's because my little one has just discovered her spit cleaner. She "cleans" a lot these days; just recently she gave my phone a spit shine. There's no stopping her. I guess it's her mate stage. But don't you dare plant a wet kiss on her. She won't care that you did it with love. She'll spit fire. (See what I did there?)

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